I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just google imaged poop.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
