I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
