So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
