i just had sex bonerless
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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