Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
being pregnant is like rehab
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
