Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
