how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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