I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
