It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
