so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
