I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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