I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize