U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
operation harelip BJ is a go
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
