I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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