I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
