i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
