I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize