And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
