is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
