I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
