I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
They took my balls.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize