I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
