i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
