True but thats because hes a fetus.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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