i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
