Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Masshole20 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

Fav 7 4182 1040
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.

(217): View more from Illinois

Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.

Fav 13 9460 1516
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(409): View more from Texas

There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.

Fav 3 965 2818
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?

Fav 31 3383 939
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul

Fav 0 630 525
share tweet
(626): View more from California

I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet

Fav 0 811 589
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation

Fav 1 1024 511
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?

(1-310): View more from California

.... Things I will not be proud of

Fav 0 86 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.

Fav 0 64 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT