you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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