Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
