Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize