This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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