You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
then he tried to convert me to islam
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
