Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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