i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
