Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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