i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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