At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
