a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
