Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
