If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Fuck appropriateness.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize