maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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