Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
