We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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