I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
