you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
