Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
