her facebook's as public as her vagina
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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