I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
