he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
