Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
