i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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