i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
