We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize