What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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