I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
