plz talk dirty to me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
