i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
