i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
