Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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