Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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