we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
