the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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