K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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