Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize