It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
