I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
