If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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